Behavioral psychiatry practice

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Selected case files

FILE NO. NMK-284714.03.25

Patient: J., age 22

Diagnostic

Asymmetric Family Portal Syndrome

Patient replies in an average of 80 minutes — their family, 131. They are therefore the most responsive member of the group. Yet their record silence reaches 22 full days before replying to a message.

CONFIDENTIEL

FILE NO. NMK-190328.04.25

Patient: M., age 27

Diagnostic

Acute Conditional Availability Syndrome

47 minutes to reply to a message that said 'ok'. We are not going to call this anxiety. We are going to call this a lifestyle choice.

CONFIDENTIEL

FILE NO. NMK-5512 — GROUP ANALYSIS09.05.25

6 participants · 9,842 messages

Diagnostic

Generalized Delayed Response Syndrome

Awards: Most likely to reply at 3am — unsurprisingly, it's always the same person.

CONFIDENTIEL

Protocol

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Frequently asked

Dr. Nemo is our AI psychiatrist. He analyzes your conversations and writes what he really thinks of you — or your group. No filter.

Export a WhatsApp conversation (Chat → Export → Without media), choose individual or group analysis, and receive your report in under a minute.

No. The conversation is analyzed directly in your browser. Only anonymized statistics and a sample of messages are used to generate the report — they are deleted immediately after.

Individual analysis is anonymous — perfect for sharing on your socials. Group analysis uses everyone's real first names and generates a profile per person — designed to be shared within the group itself.

No. All content is fictional and generated for entertainment purposes. Dr. Nemo is not a real doctor, and his diagnoses have no medical value.